Nights Like These

3 Weeks Later

I am a fool. A no good, dirty, rotten, fool. I set up these rules for myself so that I would leave no strings. I did not want to give anyone, including myself false hope for what my bleak future holds. Yet now I am in a position to leave a woman that I love behind. Why do I do this to myself? I am completely and utterly smitten by a woman who is far above what I deserve. Her name is Morgan, We met a few weeks back during a night at the bar. I cannot remember most of it due to the fact that my blackouts have been coming in at fairly regular intervals, but i do remember one thing. The way that I felt when I woke up in her arms the next morning. Joy, I never thought, that word or anything like it would find its way back into my vocabulary, but that selfish act, in a life in which I have been trying to lose all that remains of my desires, made me happy, and it is one of the scariest realizations that I have ever come to. The most terrifying was when i realized that eventually I am going to have to tell Morgan whats wrong.